Monday, February 9, 2009

Vampires, Kids, and the Birds and the Bees...

I have always considered myself to be a fairly perceptive person. The kids have actually accused me of having eyes in the back of my head...or wondered if I was psychic. Unfortunately, when you have this many kids, not only do the signals start to get jumbled, but the demands of the younger children sometimes take precedence over what an older child might be trying to sneak past me. That, and being cut off from the rest of society renders me slightly inept when it comes to current trends, movies, and book series. Such as the "Twilight" book series.

I knew that there was a book. I knew that there was a movie. I also knew it had something to do with vampires. And that it is, apparently, quite popular with teenagers. So, I thought nothing of the fact that Marissa came home with the book from school (her teacher gave it to her) and wanted to start the series. Or that soon after, Jaylond began reading it. He is now into the second book. What I did not know is that the content of these books is perhaps a bit inappropriate for their age level. Thankfully, a good friend informed me that I might want to read the series myself.

If anyone reading this is reading the series, and does not want a spoiler, you might not want to continue. However, if you are a middle-aged concerned mother, like me, who is not planning on reading the series anyway, by all means, continue.

I have not quite made it through the first book. So far, not too bad. Nothing that I would think would phase them. Jay looked at me in surprise when he found out I was reading the series. Suddenly, I notice the kid is barely putting the book down. He is determined to get through the second book and move on. Interesting.

Marissa is ok with the fact that I am reading them, but curious as to why. I told her that it would give us something to talk about. She shrugged...and then said, "Jay heard that the characters 'do it' in the fourth book."


"They 'do it'?"

"Uh-huh....well, that's what he heard, anyway."


I go back to my friend to ask if the characters do, indeed, "do it." She confirmed that they do, and that it is quite passionate. But, if it makes me feel any better, they are both vampires, and they are married. Well, I suppose that makes it a little better. No cross-species premarital relations going on. I have a dilema. My children are reading through a series that apparently has sex scenes. What, as a parent, do I do? On one hand, I do not want my children to think I condone them reading stories containing sexual situations. On the other hand, I don't want to do the proverbial parental "flipping out," and ban the series, knowing full well that not only are all of their friends reading it...but they will either hear about it or read it secretly, anyway. So, I speak to my husband about it.

His first thoughts were to tell them that the fourth book is off limits until they are older. I tell him that we could do that...and it would let them know where we stand...but we shouldn't be naive in thinking they won't read it, anyway.

Then he says maybe we tell them they can read it...but they have to read it, out loud, to us. I point out that this would be awkward for more than just them. He agrees.

So...the only other option left is to have a heart-to-heart discussion with the children. I suggest he speak with Jaylond, while I speak to Marissa. I see the fear in my husband's eyes. I see the wheels turning, trying to come up with some other not involving him having to speak to his children about sex. I reminded him that I had to have the "big talk" with both of our is not as though they do not know what it is. He squirms.

"Come on, Honey, don't you remember what it was like in middle school?"

He looks at me funny.

"I don't remember what happened yesterday, let alone what happened in middle school."

I sigh.

"Well, I can guarantee that they know alot more than you think they do."

He finally agrees that this is the best option, but wants me to tell him what I plan on saying to Marissa so that he can steal it for his conversation with Jay.

I guess I'd better get crackin' on getting through the book series at least I'll know what I'm talking about. I can picture the conversation now:

"Marissa, sweetie...we need to have a talk..."

"Ok...about what?"

"Vampire sex."


  1. Just be honest and open. The questions may or may not come, but as long as you don't take the "never, ever or something bad will happen" approach it should all turn out OK. Yes they know more than we give them credit for but unfortunately some of the "facts" aren't correct.

  2. Did your's have questions after realizing what it was? LOL. If so...what did she ask? Or did she just keep quiet about it?

  3. No questions she said that the reason for the "headboard breaking" and "pillow biting" was because he was a vampire and had incredible strength. However remember I've always been VERY open with her. More open than most people would be that's for sure.

  4. Wow...maybe I should start reading the books Jacob's recently been getting hooked on...

    Good luck with the talk. Yea, kind of weird. And her TEACHER gave it to her?! Lovely...

  5. Hey! Dennis just had a great suggestion! Just rip those pages out...!

  6. Val - LOL! I don't think the library would appreciate that one, though. ;)