Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Date Night

My husband and I have not had a date since our anniversary.  We have also not watched anything rated above PG since...was "National Treasure" rated PG13?  Yeah.  So...I decided to be spontaneous.  I bought a bottle of cheap wine, and rented the movie, "Date Night" with Tina Fey and Steve Carell.  My husband humored me in my feeble attempt to create a "grown-up" night.

The night started off well.  The children all went to bed without too much trouble.  We poured the wine, and nestled ourselves down on the floor, using the wooden box of off-brand Lincoln Logs for a place to set our mismatched holiday wine glasses that we purchased years ago from Arby's (I think.)  We opened a bag of tortilla chips...the ones we have forbidden to let the kids eat because they are the good, expensive kind that we reserve for ourselves.  (Don't judge...the kids get most of the good stuff...this is the only food item we strictly reserve for just the two of us.)  The movie was okay...and had more swear words than I've heard Owen utter in the last week, mimicking his father.

Bruce put his arm around me.  I slowly turned around to see the silhouette of a small child standing silently behind him.  I gasped and jumped.  Bruce looked at me like I was crazy.

"What's the matter with..." he turned slowly.  "Holy Shit!!!"

Connor giggled.

He walked around, plopped himself down in Bruce's lap, and shoved his little hand into our bag of chips.  He began laughing at Steven Carell, who was repeatedly using the word, "whore."


The good news is that we were watching "Date Night," and not some scary horror flick.  Mainly because I would have had extreme nightmares of some ghost child standing behind me, watching me silently.  Oh...and that Connor would probably have been traumatized for life walking in on some horror flick.  But mostly me with the whole ghost child thing.  Seriously...that freaks me out.

Perhaps we will try again someday.  Perhaps we will have some loving family member offer to baby-sit so we can watch an adult film in the theater, where one does not have to worry about a child creeping up on them.  Or try to steal their popcorn.  Or say "EEWWWWW" if we try to kiss.

Until then, we will have to rent old movies that are new to us every rare once in awhile and anticipate the creepy ghost children...who turn out to be really cute and make it hard to be truly upset about "Date Night' being ruined.