Chocolate and Wine

"UUUUUGGGGGHHHH."

The older girl is pacing the kitchen, picking at her clothes. I look over to see that she is wearing a yellow polo shirt...over a huge white tee-shirt. Now, I know the layered look is popular, but this seemed a bit...over the top. Apparently she agreed.

"Well, why don't you just wear the yellow shirt?"

"BECAUSE...you can see through it."

I look at the clock. They need to be out the door in two minutes.

"Well...just take it off and wear the white tee-shirt."

"Then I'll look like an IDIOT!"

The tee-shirt was her 5th grade graduation shirt...not so cool when you are in the 6th grade, I guess.

"Well...you need to go! I'm sorry, but..."

She moans and runs down the stairs to her bedroom. I look at the clock. One minute.

She runs back up, mumbling something about hating school, and opens the dirty laundry basket, pulling out a pink long sleeved shirt. She runs to the bathroom, and changes in two seconds flat. But then...

"I don't have time to brush my HAIR!!! OH MY GAWD....I look like an IDIOT!"

"Well, grab the brush and take it with you, because you're going to miss the bus!"

"I HATE school! I have to wake up early every freaking day just because of SCHOOL."

Finally, the kids head out the door. Five minutes later, they return, having missed the bus. I call my parents' house, in hopes that someone is available, because all three younger kids are still sleeping. Luckily, my stepfather was able to come get them.

"Can't we just stay home??"

"Uh...no."

My stepfather arrives to pick them up. And then, the little ones begin waking up.

Irelynn promptly demands candy.

Both babies decide that they want to be held. All. Day. And Owen decides he doesn't want to nap. All. Day.

Irelynn declares that she is a baby again. She climbs into the bouncy seat...that thing that hangs from the doorway that allows babies to bounce...and proceeds to bounce and swing back and forth. The little stinker actually still fits in it.

I try to carry on through the day...with a baby attached to my hip and a toddler swinging in and out of view crying out, "Mommy! Look at me! I a baby! I..." (crashing into the armchair) "...ow. You get me out now?"

After feeding, burping, bouncing, and rocking while singing every song I can think of from "Rock-a-Bye Baby" to "I Like Big Butts," Owen finally falls asleep. I hear Connor start to fuss as I carry him back to put him in bed. I shush Connor and run out of the room with him in hopes that he does not wake his brother.

CRASH.

Irelynn has dumped all of her new Legos all over the living room floor. Connor squeals with laughter. I nervously glance over my shoulder. Owen is still asleep.

I feed Connor while Irelynn builds a castle. I try to quietly set him back in his crib. I see Owen roll over, his eyes suddenly wide open. He is still quiet, though. I drop to the floor. If he sees me, it's all over. I start to army crawl across the baby's floor...and stop at the door...in front of two feet adorned in Dora socks.

"Mommy...what are you doing?"

"WAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Mumumumumum....."

((sigh))

I get up, brush myself off, and grab Owen.

And....this is how the rest of my afternoon went. With the addition of bickering preteens arriving home from school, a toddler who refused to pick up her Legos (responding "I busy. YOU do it.") and then spilling Corn Pops on the kitchen floor.

Of course, as usual, on these days, Bruce has to work late. So, I fix macaroni and cheese for dinner, with Owen on my hip, the oldest girl complaining about excessive homework, and the toddler....where did the toddler go?

I hear crying from the babies' room. I go back to find Irelynn taking a picture of the formerly sleeping Connor, who was jolted awake by the loud camera sound and flash.

Which brings me to now. Late at night. The children finally in bed. With my glass of wine, and chocolate. Is it really only Monday?