Monday, March 9, 2009

A Scary Development

My toddler happily ran to the counter with her disposable camera in hand.

"I deveyup pictures!" she exclaims to the lady behind the counter. The lady smiles, takes the camera, and fills out the slip for the one-hour photo developing. We meet up with the rest of the family to do our shopping while we wait for her pictures to be done.

The time finally arrives to pick up the pictures, and find out what our budding photographer has captured.

Hmm...the cat's butt....the chair....the baby bouncer...the hallway mirror....Irelynn's feet...and...(gasp) I obviously had no idea that my picture was being taken at the time. My cheeks turn red as I stare at this grotesque figure in the photo...taken from the perspective of a two-year-old. The camera was aimed upward, I was cleaning at the time. My baggy, stained tee-shirt did little to conceal the muffin-top stomach spilling over my pants. My hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, exposing my double-chin, in all it's glory. My mouth was contorted, my face though I was was in the middle of snapping at a mouthy preteen. It was not pretty. Is this what I really look like to everyone else? I at once vowed to begin, for real this time, a diet and exercise routine.

It's not that I didn't realize I was overweight. The numbers on the scale and tags on my clothes do not lie. However, I tend to forget about those things when I am spending most of the time in the house, donning sweatpants and my husband's tee-shirts. When I look in the mirror, there is the subtle realization that I do not exactly have my girlish figure anymore...but then I cock my head a little, look straight on (careful to avoid the side view,) and stand up a little straighter. I smooth my hair a tiny bit...I don't look too bad. I have grown quite good at fooling myself.

Unfortunately, I cannot fool my pint-size papparazzi. And I'm sure it won't be long, with her technical skills, that she will have figured out how to upload pictures to the computer, and post them on the internet.

So, I sit here tonight, sipping on my Michelob Ultra light beer, doing squats at the computer, while I contemplate whether or not a Fisher Price digital camera is actually a good birthday gift idea for my toddler. Perhaps I will go with the Tinkerbell toddler bedding instead.


  1. ooh zexy! We have a few pics like that happily deleted on the computer...TG for digital!

  2. ITA.. Thank goodness for the delete option!