Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Maureen + Boot Camp Aerobics at 5am = Ibuprofen and Messy House

So, I've been doing this thing where I get up at the butt crack of dawn to go work out.  I've been very proud of myself.  I work out on the elliptical machine...or the treadmill.  Yesterday I even gathered the courage to go stand next to Loud Steroid Man and lift weights to work on my arms.  (I have lovingly nicknamed him "Loud Steroid Man" because he is about five times my size, lifts ginormous weights, grunting loudly as he does so...every morning.)  I thought today I would go a little easier...maybe walk on the treadmill for a half hour and then tan...because, you know...I deserved it after working so hard. 

As I put my stuff in the locker, a perky woman greets me.  It is 5am, so I crack a small smile, nod, and concentrate on remembering how to tie my shoe.  I notice she is still staring at me.

"Will you be working out with us today?" 

I look around, there are no other women in the locker room. 

"Um...I guess...?"

"OH GREAT!!  We don't have too many women in the class, and I need to meet my four person quota!"  She is practically bouncing up and down.

Now I'm really confused.


"Yes, it's an aerobics class, but I try to switch it up a bit.  Today we're doing kind of a bootcamp thing...we'll do things like jumping jacks, and work on our arms, legs and abs." 

What did I just agree to?  Oh boy.

I walked into the class, and see two older women (old enough to be my grandmother,) and one woman that had to be about my age, maybe a little older.  I'm thinking this can't be too bad, right?  The instructor (bubbly lady from the locker room) had us grab some heavy weights. 

Now...when you are at home, looking in the can fool yourself into thinking that maybe you have lost some weight and that you look ok.  You are also standing up straight...looking at yourself from the best angle...and *maybe* sucking in your stomach...a little.  When you are in a room with mirrors surrounding you, doing jumping jacks...mountain climbers...and a football training see yourself in all your glory.  And it ain't pretty. 

My face was beet red.  My pants kept falling down because I was wearing my comfiest sweatpants figuring on walking, not jumping.  My muffin top was bouncing like crazy.  I at once realized that one, I do NOT look good...and two, I am so out of shape, it's pitiful.  I couldn't make it through the ab sessions.  I wanted to say that I've had twins...and a c-section...but I suppose that excuse is only valid for a year before it expires...and it's been 18-months.  I somehow survived the class, realizing I had no time to tan now, because I actually spent enough time to get a "real" workout...not a half-ass "I went to the gym so I'm gold" workout.

She asked if I would be back next Wednesday.  I smiled...and said "maybe."  We'll see how long it takes me to recover from today. 

So...I guess I can legitimately be proud of myself, at least, today.  You know you've had a good workout when it actually hurts to lift a gallon of milk. 

I will tell you one thing...not much is getting done today.  I'm thinking I might just continue with the class.  It reminds me how far I really have to go...but will also (hopefully) provide me with a way to get there.  Next time, however...I will wear tighter-fitting pants. 

1 comment:

  1. You should try yoga. When done right it can be a very good workout without the work part.