Monday, January 4, 2010

Belly Button Insults and Bubble Wrap

There are many contributing factors to my mental state.  I could probably write a discertation on the inticracies of motherhood and it's affects on a woman's brain...but I shall focus on a few current events for the moment...the ones that are driving me to consume this bottle of Canadian Molson much more quickly than I probably should.

There are the small things...the fact that the preteens have found everything to argue over, from who had the remote last to who has to set the table.  It is always disasterous when Literal Boy and Oblivious Girl have a confrontation.  With their powers combined, they create....noise pollution.  Added to the mix is the much younger, yet surprisingly skillful adversary, Copycat Girl, who while battling her older brother with wit, proclaims, "my bellybutton says you're an idiot!"  For once, he was speechless.

What truly has me unraveled lately, however, is the youngest of the family.  Connor, to be exact.  This child has trouble written on his forehead.  And I don't mean the time the older kid thought it was funny to label him with, this child truly is trouble.  He pushes stools to various objects:  shelves, the counter, the dining room table...proceeds to climb the stool (or chair, if it was available,) and scale the object of desire.  Whether it be paper from the printer, or Hershey Kisses from the candy bowl...this child has figured out a way to reach it.  He uses drawers as stepstools to get to the electronics (now up high.)  He jumps on the couches and uses them to get onto the end tables.  He also jumps on his sister's bed, uses his old walker as a scooter, climbs into the doll stroller, and rides the cat.  His twin brother is not quite as adept (his shorter, stubbier legs fail him,) but he is in close pursuit.  I am considering wrapping them in bubble wrap and just letting them loose. 

In the meantime, for tonight, they are locked in the living room with their father while I hide for a little bit.  Unfortunately, I cannot hide from the noise pollution. 


My husband just opened the gate.  Now I cannot hide from Monkey Boys, either.

Is it bedtime yet??

I do believe it is early enough to have a second beer...

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