Friday, February 10, 2012

Birthday Blunders

Dear Bruce,

I had fully intended on making your birthday today a nice day for you...a special day.  I had intended on waking up early to get my shower in before the boys woke up so that you could sleep in...but I'm pretty sure the bomb that I was trying to disable in my dream turned out to be our alarm clock.  Unfortunately, the alarm that would not STOP going off was actually Irelynn's...and she was already downstairs...and it woke up Owen.  I truly did not want to stink on your birthday, so I'm sorry you had to wake up so that I could get into the shower.

I had intended on Irelynn's pants being clean before school.  I had a whole load dedicated to her pants and skirts.  I just sort of forgot to put them in the dryer.  I'm sorry she was almost late for the bus because we were waiting on a skirt to dry before you could take her to the bus stop. 

I had intended on taking the boys out to buy wrapping paper for your presents today.  We did go out...and got distracted by the fish in the pet aisle.  Then I remembered we were out of peanut butter.  And granola bars.  Then the boys wanted to look at toys.  We made it home...and realized we had forgotten the wrapping paper.  Owen was generous enough to let us use what was left of the Spiderman wrapping paper he used for his friend's birthday present.  Luckily it was just enough to do the job.  And then Bailey started eating the wrapping paper off of your gifts.'re presents are mostly wrapped...with little tooth marks everywhere.

I had intended on a nice Birthday lunch for take the little ones and pick you up from work and take you out.  I did not intend on backing into our neighbor's car.  In my defense, I think both of us were to blame, because we both backed out at the same time, and neither one of us saw each other.  We decided it was okay, that there was no damage, no hard feelings...and then I was late to get Irelynn off of the bus.  The bus driver was waiting.  Irelynn was frowning.  Luckily she forgives easily.

I had intended on our children being charming and cute as they wished you a "Happy Birthday."  I did not realize just how uncivilized our children are in public.  Connor throwing things across the table was not part of the plan.  Neither was Owen's loud vocal exercises which drew even more attention than Connor's projectile silverware.  Then, as we were about to leave, I see our sweet five year old with a handful of silverware...sneaking it into her coat. 

"Irelynn...what are you doing??"

"We need more spoons and forks at home."

Our kid was trying to steal silverware from a restaurant.  I told her to put it back.  I see her set down a couple forks and a spoon.

"The other spoon, too."

She sighed, pulled it out of her coat, and set it down.  My face was now three shades of red.

I am now baking your cake.  I fully intend on it being a wonderful cake.  I intend on doing an early dinner so we can celebrate before you take Irelynn to her Valentine's Dance.  Unfortunately, Owen is refusing to nap...Irelynn made a mess in the kitchen trying to help me clean...and apparently the older two are not speaking to each other.  So...I'll do my best.

Just remember...I had good intentions.

Your Wife

No comments:

Post a Comment