Monday, May 9, 2011

911 on Speed Dial

Owen is going to be the death of me.  He has always been fearless...he was the first twin to walk, climb and jump.  He is taking his daring feats to new heights, however...and I have to keep a constant watch over him.  He likes to leap off of the train table.  And couch.  And chair.  And the stairs.  And his brother's back.  He flips over the child-size rocking chair so that he can climb and then leap off of that.  He has also mastered the backflip off of the couch.  What kind of mother, you ask, would not stop this child before he leaps?  The mother who is distracted by the other boy...who is sneaking food out of the refridgerator. 

While Connor does enjoy physical means of entertainment...such as running and jumping...he is much more interested in how much food he can consume in short periods of time continually throughout the day.  I'm not sure if he is honestly that hungry all the time...or if it is a product of being one of the youngest of five children and he is making sure he gets his fair share before it is gone.  Survival of the fittest, so to speak.  This kid eats more food than my teenage son.  Not only does he consume mass quantities of food...but he does it quickly...forcing every morsel into his mouth, causing his cheeks to stick out further than I think cheeks are supposed to stretch.  I am constantly concerned about the choking risk.  He is in and out of the fridge several times a day, pulling out anything from cheese to pieces of bologna, usually when I am distracted by the other boy...who is stacking lego bins on top of the couch so he can have an even higher platform from which to perform his crazy mega death spiral leap of doom. 

One of these days I will end up with a boy in the ER due to either choking, or head injuries.  I'm not sure which will be first...perhaps it will happen simutaneously, which will at least save me gas money not having to make multiple trips. 

Owen is also a major flirt...stopping to talk to any girls that will listen.  Connor, though he gets many compliments from ladies about how adorable he is with his long eyelashes, couldn't care less.  Is it sad that I already have visions of them as young adults?  Owen will be an athletic, wreckless player, trying to impress the ladies with some grand act of male stupidity, and Connor will be inside programming a computer, wearing a t-shirt with a logo for some popular strategy game or Star Trek the Generation after the Next, and stuffing his face with Doritos. 

That is, of course, if they manage to survive their toddler years. 

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