We put the "fun" in "dysfunctional."

I am already anticipating calls home from the preschool. An outing yesterday made me realize just how dysfunctional our family sounds at times.

It all took place in the van. My sister rode with us to the store, and then out to lunch. I usually try to tune the kids out in the van...literally. As the arguments get louder, and I begin to hear the infamous "MOOOOM!," the volume on the radio goes up. I've found that this is a useful trick...it annoys the kids almost as much as they annoy me...and they stop arguing for about 30-seconds. Most of the time I can successfully tune them out...but sometimes there are things that just cannot be ignored.

Irelynn started talking to Owen. I do not know what the conversation entailed, as I was not paying attention until she informed me that Owen was using some interesting language. Owen does not talk yet.

"Mommy, Owen said, 'what the Hell!'"

"Irelynn...Owen did not say that, and you do not need to say that, either."

Then, from the back, the older girl (probably seeing that I was momentarily listening to kids' complaints) chimed in:

"MOOO-OM! Can you tell Jay to stop pointing the gun at me and poking me with it?"

((sigh))

"Do not be waving the gun over the baby's carseat! I want you to set the gun on the floor, and kick it forward. I want your hands where I can see them."

My sister is starting to crack up. I reassure her that it is a squirt gun...not a 9mm. Not that I would put it past my kids. I begin to realize it sounds like I'm raising my kids in a ghetto.

But on a happy note...Happy Birthday to my baby boys. Here's to making it through the first year!