I stare at my stomach, still hanging over my pants like a deflated balloon. How can it be 9-months later, and I still have a muffin top? I have tried walking. I have tried lifting babies. I even tried waking up at ghastly hours to try and follow Jillian Michaels as she literally has me kicking my own ass. However, I have found that waking up at that time only leads to me falling asleep on the couch midday and having a toddler wake me up to inform me that Connor is chewing on cords, and Owen somehow removed his diaper (by himself, she swears,) and it is "poopy." I have since given up my morning workout.
My brother-in-law informed me that he has lost 30lbs.
"Thirty pounds?? How did you do it?"
"Try having your appendix taken out."
"I had two babies taken out...and it didn't do anything."
Perhaps I have driven my poor husband nuts with my complaints about my weight. Or perhaps he just saw it and thought it looked cool. But the next thing I knew...he had a "surprise" for me. My brother showed up to help him go pick it up. My brother is a tad clueless.
"So...are we going to pick up the Tony Danza machine?"
I start to smile. Bruce looks at him funny.
"Um...you do know I haven't told her yet, right?"
My brother's face turns red...I'm not sure if it was because he had inadvertantly given away the secret...or because he had somehow confused Tony Little with Tony Danza.
Yes...my husband bought me a Gazelle. He found it on E-Bay. It is really nice. I had to get ready to go to the store, so I did not get a good chance to try it out...but as I was about to leave, I notice my husband awkwardly trying to use it...with his beer sitting in the attached cupholder.
"Hey, look...it even has a place to set your beer!"
It appears Tony has thought of everything. No wonder he's the boss.
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