Life is funny sometimes. Just when I feel like I can't go on...my boys will decide to put plastic buckets on their heads and run around the living room in a fit of giggles...and run into each other (and the walls, and the gate,) bouncing, swaying and running again. Or as I feel the stress build up as my preschooler starts protesting naptime...she suddenly gets quiet and says, "Mommy...did you know that I love you?" Thank goodness for those moments. They remind me that even though times get difficult...and there are times I want to just disconnect from my world...there is life there. Kids are good like that...just when you feel emotionally drained, whether they are the cause or not, they can turn around and fill you back up.
Today I decided to ignore the house. Instead I took the three younger ones out for ice cream and a walk on the boardwalk. I got smiles and nods...and the "wow...you have your hands full!" comment three times. It didn't bother me today, though. Because taking the three of them out, the boys in a double stroller and Irelynn by my side...was easy. The fact that people look at me and think I must be strong to deal with that...actually makes me feel stronger...because they don't even know the half of it. I suppose I am a strong person after all. Perhaps not strong enough...but strong, nonetheless.
I am still ignoring the mess, even though the kids are napping. Another thing that helps build up the reserves is a Diet Coke and some quiet time. I cannot call in sick...or take a personal day...but I can rearrange my priorities for the day. Today's priority is slowing down and remembering why life is worth living. Tomorrow's priority will be the laundry.
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