Yard Waste

It was time. We had not ventured into the jungle that was now our yard since shortly after our sons' first birthday, in the beginning of September. Bruce had been telling our oldest son that we needed to mow it one last time...for over a month. Cleverly avoiding it until now, the yard became a major undertaking. You would have thought we had told our son he needed to fix the economy in one day or something.

While he begrudgingly cut the grass in the front, my husband tried to wrangle stray lawn furniture and fixtures in the back. The girls were playing an elaborate game that involved pretending to drive to Sam's Club and purchasing pretend slushies. I was attempting to herd babies across the yard, and keep them from eating dandelions. My husband, whether he was frustrated at the amount of time things were taking, or he just felt sorry for Jay, took a turn with the lawn mower, starting along the back. I glance over and see that my husband is no longer mowing the lawn...but going at my garden with a vengence.

"Bruce!!"

Nothing but the loud whir of the lawnmower as he pummels the garden.

"BRUCE!!!"

I am beginning to wonder if he is ignoring me, or he honestly cannot hear me. I begin to run across the yard, baby in my one arm, the other waving frantically, as if my husband can somehow see me even though his back is turned.

"BRUCE!!!!"

The older kids look at me, eyes wide, and Bruce finally turns around and looks at me, confused.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!!! TURN THAT THING OFF!!!"

He cuts the motor and shrugs.

"I was taking out that huge ugly weed on the side of the house."

"That's not a weed, that's my butterfly bush!!!"

"Oh."

"Do not mow the garden, please. Stick to cutting the grass."

The older girl begins to snicker, and Jaylond says, "our family could have their own TV show. Seriously."

Yes Jay...I agree.