Jay is in the shower. Marissa is putting waffles in the toaster. I hear a baby cry. My coffee has not finished brewing.
"Can somebody get me a towel!!"
I look at Bruce, who is standing in the living room, coat on, waiting for the car to warm up. He heads back to get Jay a towel.
Connor is on the floor, on a blanket, complaining because I left him to go get his sister out of bed.
"Momma!!! MOMMA!!!"
I bring her out, and she promptly goes to the TV, changes the source, and pops "Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed" into the DVD player. She then turns on the stereo, and turns the sound down, because it was "too loud."
Bruce has left, and I'm feeding Connor. Jay walks by me, in a cloud of....what is that smell? I try to keep a straight face, but Connor openly gags.
"Um...Jay? Are you wearing cologne?"
"Yeah."
"Well...um...a little goes a long way, you know."
"Yeah, well, so does the smell of my socks. I nearly gagged when I put them on."
"You're wearing dirty socks?"
He nods.
"I don't have any clean ones."
I sigh. Connor finishes his bottle and is happy to go in the exersaucer. I finally pour a cup of coffee. I hear the older two arguing in the living room.
"Shut up!!"
"I will when you stop talking."
"SHUT UP!"
"I will if you do!!"
"STOP IT!"
"YOU STOP TALKING!"
I go out there to break up the argument of who will shut up first. Jay starts analyzing his body parts.
"My thumb hurts. And I think I have a callous."
Irelynn joins in.
"I have callous, too. Here." She points to her forehead.
"Jay...do you have your gloves?"
"Yes."
"Marissa...do you have your planner?"
"Yes. I think. Wait." She pulls her binder out of her bag. She opens it, and yanks out a planner, along with several other papers that scatter across the room. I remind myself that they are out the door in two minutes, and I still have a half a pot of coffee waiting for me.
She finally gathers her items, and shoes are on, hats in place...and they are out the door.
I flop down on the couch. And then I hear Owen crying in the other room. I sigh as Irelynn walks up to me with a funny look on her face.
"Mom...mom....um...I have poo-poo. Change me."
Is it bedtime yet?
Ah, the joys of a teenage boy that has discovered the "power" of cologne - you can smell them coming a block away. As for the dirty socks - be thankful that is all the dirty clothes he is wearing - could be worse! I've come to the conclusion that the male species finds nothing wrong with wearing the same thing over and over, even if it smells, until the female can wash their clothes. They just cover it up with cologne.
ReplyDeleteYou can always give me a good laugh. You and Emily should get together to add some of these to her newsletter!